Into Enterprise:

Archer: We are gathered here today to witness the mairage of-

Hoshi: Uh, sir, its a funeral.

Archer: Oh sure.  Mrs. "perfect" Hoshi Sato over here wants to make this a bad day!

T'pol: Just get on with it!

Archer: Fine!  Trip died.  (laughs evil) Or did he?

Unsuspecting viewer: HUH?  Trip DIES!  Wa wa wa!  How could they?

ONE WEEK AGO!

Another viewer: Oh great, their pulling one of those "One week ago" things they used in "Impulse" again.

Doctor_Odd: Viewers, will you go away?  Your ruining my parody!

Archer: So, Trip.  I hear your making big changes to the replicators.

Trip: It's the warp nacelles.

Archer: Oh great.  I was trying to get a real death scene for Mayweather.

Trip: Huh?  How would the replicators work?

Archer: I have my ways...

Trip: Wait.  No.  Don't answer.  It's pleasant when your not spewing technobabble.

Archer: Okay.

Into engineering:

Trip: Okay.  I'm ready for my big death scene, director Odd!

Archer: Uh, Connor, were on the air!

Trip: Oh great!  I thought the live-trek was a bad idea!

Archer: Lets just kill you and get over with it.

Trip: Fine.  Ouch!  Look at the-big-stick portruding from my lower stomach.  Grrr.

Into sickbay:

Phlox: Captain, how did he get hurt?

Trip: A sedative would be nice!  OW!

Archer: What's this jar for?

Phlox: NO!  Be careful!  That's a brain-thing!  It'll kill commander Tucker!

Archer: Oops!

Trip: Thanks a lot! zzzzzzzzzz...

Phlox: The sedative is keeping him alive!

Archer: How can we cure him?

Phlox: If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

Archer: Stop the dramatics!  This is supposed to  be an action show!

Phlox: Grr... okay.  We could make a clone.

Archer: Cool!  I could make them do comedic acts together!

Phlox: It's not that simple

Archer: oh sure Mr. "Perfect" Phlox over here wants to make this a complicated day!

Phlox: done!

Archer: huh?

Phlox: Clones are easy to make.  But they only live one week.  And they're one eighth Tucker's size.

Mayweather (over the comm): Are you guys doing a parody of a parody?

Doctor Odd: Stop it!  That's not in the script!

Archer: Lets kill him.

Doctor Odd: Ooh!  This is great!  I've always wanted to kill off Mayweather!

Archer: Not him, you.

Mayweather: Although, I could die to attract more viewers!

Archer: Good idea!

Doctor Odd: feuf...

Archer: Kill em both!

Reed: Happily... (evil lol)

Archer: Now, lets get on with the show!

Sim: Who are you guys?

Phlox: Look how fast Sim's grown!

Sim: I'm Trip.

Archer: No he's Trip.  Your Trip, but not the same way as Trip.  Therefor Trip is you.  Trip is him, so he's not you.  Trip is my buddy, and my buddy isn't a two year old like you.  Make sense of it yourself.

Sim: Trip never liked you... now I know why

Sim and Archer are in the launch bay.
Sim: I can't beleive you kept that model-thing, cap'n!
Archer: Starfleet said I everyone could take one thing. It was ether this model-ship of that lame thing called 'Continuity'. What would you have chosen.
Sim: Oh, now I understand.
The model breaks.
Archer: Oh no, now I have to spend time worrying about FOUR shows ahead of me that aired before me! Ruins my idea of conquering the borg...
Sim: oh. Do you realize your talking to a clone? AND making friends with it?
Archer: Why did you have to bring up my friendlessness? NO!

Into bridge:

Archer: How is the ship doing, you guys?

Mayweather: I accidentaly drove it into a swarm of rocks.

Archer: They're building on the hull!

Reed: I tried to warn him, captain.

Trip (over the comm): She can't take no more, cap'n!

Mayweather: At least the parodic version of Mayweather HAS lines!

Archer: Grr... that's not MY favorite part about parodies...

Reed: I'm rather annoyed at his lines.

Archer: Me too.  He's really starting to get on my nerves

Sim: Hey!  I'm a teen now!

Archer: You've barely been alive two hours!

Phlox: Must be something to do with all the embarassing things that have happened to Trip over the years.

Sim: Hey, I'm fully grown!  I want some key-lime pie.

Archer: But Trip-

Sim: Cap'n, notice how Trip is always putting one a silly face while he's eating your pecan pie?

Archer: I knew there wasn't supposed to be turkey livers in it!!!

Sim: Do we really have to go through with the rest of this parody?

Archer: No.  Doctor Odd's dead, so how could we continue?

Phlox: Lets do something drastic!

Reed: Okay.  Hummm... I killed Tucker!

Or did he?  The parody ends with you wondering how Tucker is brought back to life.  It's called a memory wipe.  Don't worry, it wont hurt you ONE bit!  Or at least you won't remember it hurting you! (insert evil laugh here)

Hope you liked Slime-ilitude!

Now, time for Tea-Light, the parody of Twilight-